Roger Fisher and William Ury set out four principles of effective negotiation we can adapt the solution focused approach to resolving conflict when entering a negotiation. We can use this approach to find a win-win solution.
Make sure that good relationships are the first priority
There are three guiding principles:
- Be Calm
- Be Patient
- Have Respect
This will help your decision making.
Observe the emotions of the other party, and try not to respond in kind if the discussion becomes “heated.”
Instead, ask yourself why the debate has taken this turn, that will help you to remain separate from the emotions and make an effort to understand each party’s underlying interests, needs and concerns.
As far as possible, make sure that you treat the other calmly and that you try to build mutual respect. Do your best to be courteous to one-another and remain constructive under pressure.
Consider how you can use the following steps to get to win-win:
Separate the people from the problem
Avoid identifying the other party as your “opponent.” Be sure to focus on the issue at hand, and try to ignore personality differences. To do this, be aware of three factors: perception, emotion and communication.
According to Fisher and Ury, perception means “putting yourself in their shoes,” so you are better placed to see common ground or a compromise solution.
You may be convinced that your position is fair, reasonable and “right,” but it’s likely so will the other person.
Examine and acknowledge your emotions, and to ask yourself why you feel the way you do. For example, could a previous bad experience in a negotiation be affecting your behaviour in this one?
Focus on Interests, Not Positions
People are seldom “difficult” just for the sake of it, and almost always there are real and valid differences sitting behind conflicting positions. The way that each person sees the issue may be influenced by many factors, such as their values, beliefs, status, responsibilities, and cultural background.
Try to keep the conversation courteous and avoid attributing blame. Once everyone knows that their interests have been considered, they are more likely to be receptive to different points of view.
For example, if you’re negotiating with your boss to get more resources for your team, consider that he may be under pressure to reduce costs. If you look beyond your two positions, you may find that you have a common interest, such as increasing your team’s productivity.
Listen first; talk second
Chinese listening skills – ears, eyes, undivided attention and heart
RECOGNIZE THAT SEEKING TO UNDERSTAND DOES NOT MEAN AGREEMENT
It’s okay to want to listen and learn and still hold onto your own beliefs and values.
If we do not actively listen there’s a danger your position could become entrenched, and your willingness to listen lessened.
Invent Options for Mutual Gain
By now, each side will likely have a better understanding of the other’s interests, and a solution might be obvious. You may even be on the verge of agreement. If not, stay open to the idea that a completely new position may exist and use the negotiation process to explore your options.
To return to our example, let’s say that you’ve identified increased productivity as a mutual interest, but your company can’t afford new staff or equipment. You could see this as an opportunity to assess working practices, training opportunities, and inexpensive ways to increase efficiency.
Explore options together:
Be open to the idea that a third position may exist, and that you can get to this idea jointly.
By following these rules, you can often keep contentious discussions positive and constructive. This helps to prevent the antagonism and dislike which so-often causes conflict to spin out of control.
Use Objective Criteria
This isn’t just “setting out the facts,” as different underlying needs, interests, opinions, and goals can cause people to interpret facts differently, or cause you to select only those facts that support your position.
For example, during an interdepartmental negotiation in your company about the launch date of a new product, you become convinced that rushing it to market as early as possible is the best option. There’s a danger your position could become entrenched, and your willingness to listen lessened.
Yes, there’s some evidence to support this view within the marketing data, but also indications that delaying the launch until later in the year, to coincide with a national holiday, would also be good for sales in the longer term. It would also give your marketing team more time to prepare a campaign.
Try to agree on a set of objective criteria that provide a framework for your discussion. These could include measurements such as legal standards, market value, a mission statement, or contractual terms. Agreeing on standards demonstrates shared values, and a commitment to reaching an agreement.
Returning to our first example, both you and your boss could agree on a budget as a basis for discussion regarding more resources for your team, and proceed on the basis that any changes must be made within these financial limitations.
Set out the “Facts”
Agree the facts, restate, paraphrase, summarize.
Agree and establish the objective, observable elements that will have an impact on the decision.
