Coping with mental health issues can be a challenge with or without support and breaking the cycle of torment takes courage no matter who you are. Men and women experience many of the same problems, but there are specific issues which appear to be particularly detrimental to men when it comes to asking for help, support and advice.
Men account for three-quarters of suicide in the UK, and the figures show no signs of decreasing. In fact, the Office of National Statistics has just published their latest findings for Suicides in the UK for 2018, and the rates show quite the contrary.
There has been a significant increase in male suicide rates in 2018;
Climbing from 15.5 deaths per 100,000
males in 2017,
to a rate of 17.2 deaths per 100,000 males for 2018.
While the exact reasons for the increase are unknown, we must be vigilant in our speculation. We need to focus our efforts on working towards helping those at risk, protecting the vulnerable and broadening our awareness about mental health to prevent numbers increasing.
Men are particularly vulnerable when mild or common mental health issues are left untreated, and they gradually become severe mental health issues. Before we dive directly into how we can intervene and offer help and support, let’s look at some of the common misconceptions about men and mental health.
Misconception 1: Only people with poor mental health issues take their own life.
Fact: While this may be a contributing factor, there are many factors which can lead to a person taking their own life. Some people take their own life yet have never suffered from mental illness. Conversely, many people that suffer from mental illness have never experienced thoughts of taking their own life.
Men, often feel the pressure and the expectation of being strong, not showing their true feelings and ‘putting on a brave face’. Work-related stress, money worries, rejection, relationships issues, trauma and past abuses can be a trigger for taking your own life.
Misconception 2: He doesn’t look suicidal; he’s just a bit stressed.
Fact: There is no face of depression, suicide or mental illness. Many people who have thought of taking their own life may not show any sign they are about to do it. Men may use language like “I’m stressed” or “I just can’t find a solution”, but they mean “I’m scared” or “I’m afraid, I just can’t see a way out”.
Look at the faces below. Can you tell who is more likely to take their own life or who is about to marry the girl of their dreams?
Never judge a book by its cover. Listen to the language a person uses.
Misconception 3: People who
talk about taking their own life aren’t serious about it. It’s only the quiet
ones we should be concerned with.
Fact: Anyone who talks about taking their own life should be taken
seriously. Often before attempting to take their life, a person will have
usually said something to someone. It may be mentioned in passing or a more
serious moment. While they may not say the word suicide, they may say something
like “I can’t see a future” or “I don’t feel life’s worth living
anymore”. Men are particularly susceptible to putting on a brave face and
getting on with things until it’s too late. Listen to what they are saying – it
may be their way of sharing their deeper feelings.
Misconception
4: If a person has made up their mind about taking their own life, there is
nothing you can do to help.
Fact: There is always something you can do to help. Often the ‘right’
moment to do ‘it’ may be temporary and will pass. Intervention at this point is
critical in helping them get the right support they need before their thoughts
return to a more active approach. Men who feel like taking their own lives have
often arrived at their decision because they think there are no other options.
However, the majority of people who feel like taking their own lives DO NOT
WANT TO DIE but don’t want to live the life they have. Your help may help them
discover more options for living.
Misconception 5: I’m not a professional; I can’t help them.
Fact: There are things you can do to help a person with thoughts of taking their own life. Simply by being there can often make a difference or even just speaking to them to interrupt their thoughts.
A more active approach may be to do some basic training. The Zero Suicide Alliance is an excellent service which offers a free online training session to help you save a life. It’s only 20 minutes of your time and maybe the first step to making a big difference to a friend, colleague, family member or stranger. https://www.zerosuicidealliance.com
Creating awareness about these issues and education is the key to making a change. Every single one of us can help, but many people are afraid to do it for fear of making things worse.
Final Misconception: Asking a person about suicide
will give them the idea to do it.
Fact: If a person is seriously considering taking their own life, they
may not wish to share such a taboo subject with anyone else. However, if you
start the conversation openly and compassionately, then this may allow the
person to open up and share their worst feelings and fears. You have offered
them another option which may save their life.
Ask about our Mental Health First Aid Training today…
Our next open programme will be the 16th & 18th October 2019
You’ll learn to develop the skills to identify risk and offer appropriate support for people struggling with poor mental health.
