How do you set your New Year’s resolutions?
Setting New Year’s resolutions can be a great way to begin the new year, a fresh start with something to focus on. But, when these goals result from feelings of pressure or obligation, they can become detrimental to our wellbeing. How often have you found yourself setting big goals for the new year which go out of the window before January is even up?
This can cause us to feel like a failure and lower our self-esteem and is not conducive to achieving goals.
What is it that keeps us from reaching these goals?
Setting big intentions from a place of obligation
New Year’s resolutions are something a lot of people like to do when entering into a new year because it feels like a time to reset and achieve something new. But how many times have you found yourself doing it just because everyone else is, or setting the same goals each year?
There are many reasons why resolutions fail, and January 17th is known as the day these go out of the window for a lot of people!
Consider how small adjustments can improve your wellbeing. Ensure you are setting goals that will help you feel happier, and not just because you think you “should”.
When setting your 2023 goals, think about what you would like to add to your life to make it more fulfilling. What makes you happy? Is it reading, getting out in nature, or seeing friends, for example? One of my goals for the new year will be to see more of my friends and do things that bring me joy, like going to see musicals, or doing something active and fun.
Here are some ways in which you can set New Year’s resolutions (or any type of goal) to bring happiness and fun into your life!
Break them down
Evidence suggests that when setting big goals, splitting them down into smaller, more manageable chunks is a more effective way to achieve them. For example, if exercise is something that makes you feel good, and you want to do more of this, setting a goal such as ‘do more exercise’ can seem overwhelming and is not measurable. It may be more effective to start with a smaller goal, such as ‘take a 15-minute walk three times a week’. Once you have this mastered, then you can add in additional elements which help you work towards your goal!
Approach vs Avoidance
Another way to increase your chances of sticking to your goals is by thinking about them positively. This can be explained through approach and avoidance goals.
Approach: eat more vegetables, get more daily steps, cook more meals at home.
Avoidance: don’t eat junk food, stop being lazy, no more takeaways.
Thinking about your goal as something you want to do (approach), rather than what you don’t want to do (avoidance), can increase motivation in working towards these goals.
SMART goals
If you are someone who needs a more focused approach to setting goals, you might want to try using the SMART technique.
You’ve probably heard of the term ‘SMART goals’, but if you haven’t, let me explain how this can be a great way of setting your new year’s resolutions.
Specific – if you want to ‘see friends more’, state how often you would like this to be. It might be as little as meeting with a friend once a week for a walk or a coffee, or you may wish to do something big once a month with a group of friends. Being specific with your goal can help you to effectively plan how you will execute your goal.
Measurable – how will you know you have reached your goal? What evidence will prove your progress?
Attainable – make sure you are setting reasonable goals. For example, if you want to learn a new skill or take up a new hobby, this may take some time. Give yourself a realistic amount of time to be able to achieve this goal so you do not feel pressured.
Relevant – is the goal relevant to your needs and long-term goals, and align with your values?
Timebound – set a time by which you want to achieve your goal to increase motivation. But remember to make it realistic!
Mindfulness
When considering the New Year’s resolutions you may be setting this year, instead of focusing on what is wrong, Dr. Lazarus – a psychologist, suggests focusing on mindfulness and awareness. Often in times of stress, we can tend to focus on what’s “wrong”. But there are ways of shifting our perspective to just be more aware of these things.
Implementing small changes can make a big difference to our wellbeing and make reaching our goals seem more attainable.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to reach all of your big goals this year. Think about something you already do that makes you happy, and make one of your goals to do more of this!
I wish you well in setting your goals for the year ahead. My main goal to start off the year is to run in the Cambridge half marathon to raise money for CPSL Mind. I will be using some of the techniques I have mentioned as follows:
My APPROACH goal: To run a half-marathon and raise money for a charity that aligns with my values
I plan to break this down into small, manageable chunks that include practice runs at different times of the day, in different places and sometimes with my dog so that I don’t get bored and continue to have fun along the way!
I will remain mindful of any negative self-talk (especially on the days I have factored in training runs and the weather isn’t great!) and I will look for ways to reframe my self-talk into positive, motivating talk e.g. ‘I don’t want to go out it’s cold’ becomes something like ‘I’m looking forward to completing this run and rewarding myself with a warming hot chocolate when I get back as a reward.’
